1 year ago today, I created an Instagram account. I added no one I knew, told no one I knew, and proceeded to take photos and make posts from the heart. Not of the expected or the obligated variety - this was engagement with a centre of myself that I hid because I didn't know how to explain it to everyone else around me. But I knew she needed to be expressed.
It felt like such a small move. Provide a couple details, come up with a name, and post my first picture. But, at the core it was so much more than that. I had made spaces in secret before, places I could express myself freely and honestly, but they never stood the test of time. I think now, the reason for this, is because they were never meant to exist in secret at all. How do I know this? Gut, for starters, but it also had something to do with a card I kept receiving in in my personal readings: The Sun - the antithesis of shrinking or lurking in shadows.
And so what started as catharsis, became a legitimate way of showing up in the world on a daily basis. About a week after I created the account, I also launched my website which coincidentally (or not) fell on a full moon. I made a pledge that day that I would not give up on this space I carved and I would honour my calling, my gifts and my joy even if it meant that no one knew or no one cared. And there's the Sun talking again - dance like no ones watching, right? Well, I wrote like no one was watching. I wrote and expressed and shared and I didn't care, honestly, who watched. This was about having an outlet, pure and simple, and in those moments where I wonder if I've gone off course, I remind myself what brought me here to begin with.
Over the course of the year, I've learned things about myself I never knew. I've changed my life in ways I never thought I could (BIG ways,). I have met THE MOST INCREDIBLE PEOPLE all over the world who I am honoured to call friends. And now I know what everyone has been saying for so long to be true: Follow your bliss and the rest will fall into place.
And I want that for you too. if you're sitting there playing on the edge of starting something for yourself, but feel the fear holding you back - let this be your permission to be go forward. "Does it bring me joy?" "Is it an honest and true expression of myself?" "Does it utilize my strengths or that which I wish my strengths to embody?" If you answered "yes" to even one of those questions - the next question you need to ask yourself is, "why haven't I started yet?"
This started as a post, with a picture and a simple caption, but what it has blossomed into and the ways in which it has PUSHED me forward have exceeded my wildest dreams. Thank you to everyone who has been with me on this journey, for however long. Thank you for those who have inspired me, held space for me and encouraged when I teetered. The community I've found in this space has added so much texture to this experience and for that, I am eternally grateful.