When reading for oneself, you will inevitably come into a situation where the cards deliver a message that's difficult to swallow. Usually I'm pretty chill about these occurrences, so the other day, when I decide to do a simple reading checking in on a certain something, I thought it would be fine. My question was straightforward: What advice did spirit have for me regarding the situation and what would the outcome be if I heeded the advice? No big deal, right? - Wrong. I was already more invested in this outcome than I cared to admit, and so when the first card I turned over was the ever blunt "Not For You" from the Wisdom of the Oracle, I was taken a back.
What do you mean, "Not For You"? I've already decided this is for me though, I just wanted some simple advice on next steps! Usually I'm not so surprised by the cards. Usually I have a pretty good handle on things and set my expectations accordingly, but today - today, I was simply not prepared.
Needless to say, this sent me into a spiral. I couldn't leave it at that - I needed to know more. Why isn't it for me? Are you sure? What if we renegotiate the terms? Throw me a bone, man!
I proceeded to throw down some more cards, but all I did was compound the message with increasingly frustrating results. At this point, as difficult as it was, I knew I needed to step away. I had to just be with this - exist with this for awhile no matter how difficult the prospect was. Whether it was right or whether it was wrong was meaningless; it had struck a nerve - and this, if nothing else, was enough for me to know that there was a message here for me. Maybe not the doom and gloom that I immediately jumped to, but a message none the less.
Which brings me to the purpose of this article - what can we do as readers, when we read for ourselves and are confronted with a message that ultimately disappoints? (I'm focusing this on self-reading because disappointing a third party is a whole other issue for another day!)
First off, before we even get to the message, make sure you go into every reading with clear intentions and some degree of disconnect from the outcome. In my case, I was largely connected to the outcome - and this makes things sticky. I believe, and this is just me, that the closer we are to the inquiry and the possibilities, the harder it will be to have an objective reading. So as a general rule of thumb, if I'm super concerned about the outcome, I don't read on the topic. Clearly, I broke my own rule and the cards were quick to remind me why I have these rules to begin with.
But, let's say you go into a reading thinking you are super detached, and still get a totally defeated message, then what? Don't be like me in the example above; instead, walk away from the cards and clear your mind and heart. You don't have to throw away the message - just separate yourself from it for a bit. It also doesn't mean it's "right", but it's probably still important. When fear or ego are in the driver's seat, sometimes we see things that aren't really there. Even if they aren't really there though, our projection of them still makes them damn real from our perspective - real enough that they are worth examining. But drawing more and more cards probably isn't the answer because all we're going to see is a mirror into our current energetic state - which is likely quite chaotic.
So put down the cards, walk away, and break up the energy. What I mean by this is get up, move around, go outside - do something to get out of your head and into your body. Once you've been able to move the energy around and you're feeling refreshed, or at least a bit better, come back to the message. Is it still translating the same to you? If yes, then humour it for a bit. What if it is right? Would it be the worst thing in the world? What's plan b?
You might find, maybe the message wasn't as harsh as you first interpreted it. You may also find that the outcome may have some sliver of a silver lining after all. Play with the possibilities - the good, the bad and the ugly. If it's still bumming you out, thank yourself for being present through the process anyway and let it go.
My experience has been that spirit (your higher self, spirit guide team, ancestors, divine source etc.) wants to tell you what's up, but not scare the shit out of you. Spirit doesn't want to send you into a spiral of panic or disappointment or uncertainty. If these are your reactions, you're likely being influenced by ego. Go back and find the softer voice among the chaos; the voice that shows you the possibilities and also has your best interest at heart. The voice that knows that no matter what, everything in your life is being divinely guided in the direction of your highest truth and best self.
At the end of the day, messages can be rooted in reality, but they may also be extensions of our own psyche - and sometimes that psyche can be influenced by all sorts of creepy crawlers that make it difficult to see past the ego blocks and barriers. So ultimately, even if the message you received isn't the one you wanted to hear, sometimes it's still worth unpacking. You may not find the outcome, but you may learn a little something about yourself and that's always worth the exploration.